I AM A DACHSHUND

 I am not a dog.

I am a DACHSHUND. I'm half wolverine, half barbed wire, and all attitude. I am either your best friend or your worst enemy, depending on YOUR attitude toward me.

I can fight the wildest raccoon or play with the smallest child. I can hunt all day in the woods, snow storms, or blistering heat, and then expect you to throw the ball ar the end of the day. I will argue with you at every turn—after all, I know what I'm doing and the best way to do it. 

I will eat your steak or something I found in the field. You will never be without a navigator in the truck. I will protect you from burglars, wolves, badgers, and that strange pesky shadow in the corner of the house. I will hog your bed and your couch. 

I will steal your sandwich, your chair, your shoe, and your heart. You will never have to go to the bathroom alone ever again. I will lick your face right after I eat something rotten I just found outside. 

I will sleep next to you when you are sick and heal you with my love. I am DACHSHUND. Respect me. Love me. But NEVER underestimate me.

—adapted

Have a great Thursday, doxie lovers! ♥️