I AM A DACHSHUND!

 I am not a dog. 

I am a DACHSHUND. 

I'm half wolverine, half barbed wire, and all attitude. 

I am either your best friend or your worst enemy, depending on YOUR attitude. 

I can fight the wildest raccoon or play with the gentlest child.

I can hunt all day in snow storms, pouring rain, or blistering heat and then ask you to throw the ball when we get done. 

I will argue with you at every turn. After all, I know what I'm doing and the best way to get it done. 

I am easy to feed. I will eat your steak or the dead, rotten rabbit I found in the field. 

You will never be without a navigator in the truck. 

I will protect you from burglars, raccoons, badgers, and that strange pesky shadow in the corner of the house. 

I will hog the bed and the couch. 

I will steal your sandwich, your chair, your boot, and your heart. 

You will never have to go to the bathroom alone ever again. 

I will lick your face right after I eat the head off the rabbit I just killed in the yard. 

I will sleep next to you when you are sick, and heal you with my love. 

I am DACHSHUND.

Respect me. 

Love me. 

But NEVER underestimate me.

~ Author unknown