CHRISTMAS, ACCORDING TO A DOXIE

"Hi there.  From my vantage point on the couch, I see my humans scurrying around with boxes and paper--they take the paper and wrap it around those boxes, then put them under a tree that has lights on it.  Curious behavior, if you ask me.

 

"Then, the big humans tell the little humans not to touch those wrapped boxes yet, and even glare at me if I so much as try to smell them myself--why, I've gotten scolded for merely walking past those boxes on my way to someplace else in the house!  Geez.

"Back to that tree with lights on it:  the female human enlisted the help of the small humans in putting all sorts of objects on the tree last week.  Ranging from snowflakes to a fat man in a red suit, they
were varied and interesting.  Some, I couldn't quite make out, but others were easily recognizable to me:  candy canes (although they never let me eat those), angels (I've seen those on TV), various shiny balls in different colors (but I'm warned to never touch any of them).  What is the fun in that, I ask?  I mean, just staring at a decorated tree with wrapped boxes under it sounds kinda dumb to me--but then, my humans do lots of things that I just do not understand!  And they say dogs are dumb.  HAH!

"Well, this Christmas thing is a really big deal, I'm finding out.  My humans constantly play what they call Christmas music, which features such words as reindeer, sleighs, Santa Claws (sounds like a weird creature), snow, ringing bells (ouch, my sensitive ears), and this Santa Claws creature coming down the chimney.  In our house, they have the chimney closed off, so this creature must have some sort of magic properties to get inside THIS house THAT way! 

"But perhaps the strangest point of it all is the fact that they also talk about it being somebody's birthday.  All this for a person I've never seen, met, or much less heard about??  Everything I've watched on TV about Christmas has Santa Claws, elves, snow, holly and greenery--and that's it.  But my humans seem to think it's about a big birthday party for a man who died many, many years ago.  What gives with that?

"The other night my pack leader read to the rest of the human family from a book they call the Bible.  It did shed some light on the idea, and as I twisted my head in contemplation, my pack leader said to
the rest of them:  'Hey, look at the dawg twisting his head about the Christmas story!'  He looked over at me and said, 'That's okay, buddy.  Dogs just cannot understand spiritual concepts, but we're glad you want to listen to the Christmas story, which took place in Bethlehem.  We just wish more humans would pay attention to it, too!  Good dog.'

"And with that, he got up and gave me a treat for doing absolutely nothing but lie there, trying to make sense of it all.  I'll never understand humans, but I do try.  I really do."