DACHSHUND: PROFESSIONAL HUMAN TRAINER

And this post gets us to the crux of the matter: dachshunds truly believe what is written below! Once again, I did not originate them--but they reveal a lot about our beloved dachshunds.

Will train any human to perform the following basic obedience commands:

"Behind our sweet, innocent faces lurk
minds like steel traps!"


1. Fetch me a treat.

2. Rub my belly.

3. Pick up my poop.

4. Wipe my feet.

5. Speak baby talk.

6. Throw the ball.

7. Don't hog the bed.

8. Give me a kiss.

9. Buy me a toy.

10. Fetch me a treat (this one's worth repeating).